I Am, In and Through You, Restored

Thursday, June 24, 2021 – Last Day of Synod
Reflection from our Celebration Mass

Responsorial Psalm:
I praise +You, for I am wonderfully made.

Ps 139: 1b-3, 13-14a, 14b-15

“+You know me, my God. +You know me, and I am just beginning my journey of knowing +You
+You know my heart and soul, my pain and Joy, my heartache and wonderment.
My wandering brings me closer to +You and yet I feel the farthest I ever have been, but I know +You are there! +You hold me and I am restored.”

Those were the first words I wrote for that day – words inspired by the responsorial psalm from the Solemnity of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist and the 19th anniversary of the United American Catholic Church. The psalm that day moved me deeply reminding me that I am a created being of the Divine and that no matter what I face, I am still a created being of the Divine. While listening to the words, I recalled that as of this very moment of my life I have overcome every hardship I have faced. It does me no good to dwell in dark places – I must celebrate in the Light! Likewise, it does me no good to focus my attention on those who are already healed – I must, as did the Christ, seek out those who are still in darkness to bring them light.

Next year the UACC will celebrate 20 years of service to the People of God during our next annual Synod. The Gospel reading for that day will echo something I have celebrated for all my years in service to the Church – “Those who are healthy have no need for a physician, but those who are sick do. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” I think it rather prophetic that these words should be celebrated on the anniversary of a church desiring to exemplify the teachings of our Christ.

It is a tricky thing, this life of ministry. To whom do I minister? How do I do it? I must attend the poor and outcast, but they are already saved. What about those who still need saving? What about the sinners – who ministers to them? How willing am I to become so unclean that I have my meals with those who have been rejected by society to possibly bring them a glimmer of hope of salvation? How willing am I to continue to be thrown away like common trash for following the teachings of my God and my Christ? My Saviour said it perfectly; “I am,” and so must I be ready and willing to do the same.

These past few weeks have been – enlightening. I realized that over the past year I have wandered in and out of a variety of emotions related to the happenings a little over a year ago. During the Synod, I removed my heart and soul completely from that past, but this has been a process – it didn’t just happen in a day. I have been “shown” truths that have repaired the countless lies I have been told through the years. I have healed from being called vicious names by individuals bent on looking in mirrors than facing reality. And I am secure in the knowledge that I serve not my own ego, but my God who calls me to walk beside sinners to foster healing and forgiveness.

My +Beloved,
You’ve brought me to my knees
      and shared with me,
                through your Breath,
                         the very life that moves my soul
and stirs my heart.

I am, in and through you,
on my journey to be with you.

My Cup is Refilled

Fr. Kenn Nelan, OSFC

It is time… time to once again walk the path.